Lies, All Lies

So last night, I found myself at a gathering where we were asked to introduce ourselves, just in case everyone didn't know everyone else. In addition to our name, rank, and serial numbers, we were asked to tell everyone what drink we would be, if we were a drink. And since we were a roomful of writers and performers, we all were trying to come up with the perfect drink along with the witty bon mot to describe why we were said drink (at least, I was. It is possible that most of the others are more secure than I am. But, as I said, we were a roomful of writers and performers so this is just a possibility).

So what did I say?

Decaf Jasmine Green Tea.

I don't know if I could have come up with a less truthful description of myself if I had tried. I mean, decaf? Um, yeah, tell that to the insomnia which plagues me every night. Clearly, I was suffering from some form of temporary delusion. Perhaps brought on by my excessive insecurity and need to be liked, or maybe I was already feeling the effects of the red wine I was drinking. Dude, I get more accurate answers from random blog quizes, quizes which weren't written by someone who lives inside my head and knows me from the inside. What was I thinking?

And then, today, I received an evite to an alumni gathering which asked the following questions:

1. Which Homeric figure do you most closely identify with?
2. New "Reality" show called Hum 110 Authors...who gets kicked off first?
3. Who will win the Cubs- White Sox series this year?

And I replied:

1. Clytemnestra (though I cannot recall if she actually makes an appearance in either The Iliad or The Odyssey...but she was Helen's sister, so she totally counts.)
2. St. Augustine
3. Cubs

While I am more prepared to defend my reasons for these responses, I must admit, I feel only slightly less ambivalent and awkward about them as I did my beverage reply.

But honestly, these aren't easy questions. They aren't "important" questions, but they are asking one to be specific about who one is. And, in truth, we aren't specific, or rather, we are terribly specific, but in so many contradictory ways the lines between the edges of all the little details which makes one an individual become blurred. We are the sum of parts which change and mutate with every moment, rendering a different result with each passing second.

I identify with Clytemnestra, Helen, Achilleus, and the rest. But I am talking about people who may or may not be fictional and, if they were real, lived 10,000 years ago. I can identify, but only from the context of my own life and experiences which, let's face it, are not one's which easily identify with the hybrid children of gods and men.

So, last night, I inexplicably I was a decaf jasmine green tea. But today, I think I am a smoothie, a blend of fruits into one amalgamated whole.

But there are blog quizes for almost everything these days. Yeah, I probably would have said Patroclus if I were limited to just the men.

Which Greek Warrior From The Iliad Are You?

Patroclus: Nice guy. Yes, we all know you and Achilles are just *friends*.
Take this quiz!


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