All I Want For Christmas is the Ability To Transcend Time and Space
Here is something for those who are counting the minutes until the Christmas special airs on this side of the pond. I saw this last night (commercial break during the Unquiet Dead) and wondered if I was suffering from sleep deprivation induced hallucinations wherein my much abused brain merged the late night television I was watching into one neat package. Happily, this was not the case and BBC America is just running Doctor Who themed contest.
Just a few more hours before we get to open this present.
A mash-up of a Christmas classic and a Kinks classic set in a futuristic environment with a Servalan lookalike demonstrating all the awesomeness her world has to offer. Thank you, Bobby Lloyd and the Skeletons. I couldn't have imagined a better Christmas gift if I tried.
I find this little video giving tips how to survive a holiday zombie apocalypse charming and old fashioned. Not because it is filmed in black and white and set in the pseudo 50s, but because it hearkens back to a simpler time when the undead coming to eat our brains was our biggest worry. Unlike today, when even those who don't have mortgages have to worry about the banks breaking into their homes and stealing all their stuff. Of course, it is perhaps unkind of me to assume that the banks and their contractors are mean-spirited jerks who have been allowed to operate above the laws. Maybe they, like the zombies are just hungry and that is why they are tearing apart people's homes and possessions. After all, this is the season when people make houses out of food type items. While I am no fan of royal icing and gumdrops, this is the season when some people create awesome things people with those materials. These super amazing people made a Fallingwater gingerbread house.
I have never made a gingerbread house, but seeing this makes me want to start experimenting so I can be ready for next year. Because nothing can hold off a zombie apocalypse like gingerbread.
As if you needed more proof that The Little Drummer Boy is the strangest/most awesome xmas song ever.
So riddle me this, does Grace Jones being misdelivered to Peewee's Playhouse trump David Bowie appearing as Bing Crosby's neighbor from down the road? Who is more odd, The Man Who Fell to Earth or May Day? Does this video make you want to drink more or less eggnog?
I may have already mentioned seeing Neil Diamond with Maria around the Christmas holidays many years ago. Neil was singing Christmas songs and Maria dared me to scream whenever Neil sang "when we come" because it was the only potential double entendre in the song. I don't know if I successfully completed the mission (we screamed a lot that night). There was also the point when Neil said something like, "Christmas is a great time of year, but my people also have songs to sing" before he sang Hava Nagila, but I briefly sat there thinking, "His people? Diamond? Oh, that's right, the gemstones" because I was so filled with excitement that common sense failed me. If anyone ever offers you free tickets to see Neil Diamond, TAKE THEM!
My first response was, "Who does this bitch think she is?" My second was, "It's a shame she didn't meet me, I gave a vintage Louis Vuitton Speedy bag to Salvation Army earlier this year." My third was, "She really took the message of Santa Baby to heart, didn't she?"
As you may recall, I already covered the first and last thoughts in a blogpost a few years ago. What I didn't say at the time is that one could probably find some mighty attractive prostitutes who cost far less than both the protagonist of the song and the woman whose list was lost on the train (Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, for example). As for the second thought, it is amazing what people throw away, but more amazing is that anyone would buy some of the things they do in the first place (especially if the ugly things whose only function is to serve as some sort of status indicator). Unfortunately, it seems like random man's girlfriend is pretty status oriented, so while there are some nice things on her list, she seems to be choosing labels and cost over aesthetics and value. Which is kindof awesome in this economy. She apparently didn't just grok Santa Baby, she is still partying like it's 1999 (when Sex and The City first won us over and all that conspicuous consumption seemed almost charming.)
This is very funny, albeit very inaccurate. Because while Rudolph did possess free will and was not required to let his red nose shine, had he chosen to put it away, he would have ruined Christmas. Of course, saving Christmas and getting to play reindeer games doesn't seem all that great, considering what jerks Santa and all the reindeer are in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer up until Rudolph reveals his special skill. They are just a bunch of users, pimps if you will. So, yeah, maybe I was hasty to discount the accuracy of this mash-up after all.