Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Shoes: Red Suede Vintage Vogue

Maria gave me these shoes in 1999 because they were slightly too large for her. While you may be wondering what she was thinking giving these up, it makes some sense if you consider Maria has always had at least twice as many shoes as I and this was back when she referred to three inch heels as "running shoes." Not only were these too big for her feet, she may have seen these heels as on the low side. 

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Monday, August 31, 2015

Shoes: Red Flower Fabric Heels

Another pair of red flower heels.

I found these at Salvation Army a couple years ago. Of course I clutched them to my chest as my eyes darted furtively to other shoppers, fearful they would snatch these beauties from my grasp (yes, stepping into a thrift store is exactly like becoming a character in an overwrought romance/spy novel, why do you think I enjoy it so much?)

These are surprisingly comfortable, despite being strappy and high heeled.

What they are not, however, is practical. These would be destroyed in a rainstorm and my feet would turn blue if I tried to wear them in winter (which, as far as my chronically icy feet are concerned, begins at Labor Day and ends at Memorial Day, just like the rule about not wearing white). So despite my love for them, I have never worn these in public. Yet. I have dreams of a future summer soirée and, in those dreams, these are on my feet.

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Sunday, August 30, 2015

Shoes: Red Fabric Rosette Slippers

I have no idea how or when I acquired these. It is entirely possible that my shoes, left to their own devices, have begun to reproduce in the dark of my closet. Or maybe I have an infestation of elves. Either way, why look a gift horse in the mouth, especially when said horse is bearing a pair of never worn (except perhaps on carpet so as not to mar the soles) vintage slippers?

These photos are the only time I have ever worn these as, alas, life in the 21st century is sadly lacking in opportunities to swan around in decorative slippers.

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Thursday, July 23, 2015

Shoes: Red Leather Rose Heels

When we went to London for Christmas in 2002, our hotel was near a shoe store which had the most amazing black sueded pumps with a red suede rose placed off center from the vamp. I once went into the store to ask the price, which was a number that was just high enough to dissuade me from trying them on, but not so high that I haven't spend the last twelve years thinking I should have just spent the money and bought the shoes, if only I had known that I would never see them again, anywhere. In the back of my mind, I thought the shoes were so lovely, surely everyone would be making shoes like that in a matter of months. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

I tell you this to help you understand the ridiculous amount of excitement I felt when I stumbled upon these shoes at Salvation Army. Red leather rose heels! And they fit me perfectly! I can't remember how much they cost (under $10 is a safe assumption), but I have a feeling I would have paid whatever amount was stapled to them.

Here they are on my feet.

These are not the most comfortable shoes in the world as they are high and the wooden footbed is unforgiving, but they do not squish my toes and every time I wear them I get complements.

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Saturday, July 18, 2015

Shoes: An Introduction

A year or so ago, I was attempting to organize the shoes in my closet (believe it or not, it is filled with more than just black dresses) and, not for the first time, I realized that I wear a very small percentage of the footwear I own. I just don't have many opportunities to swank around in high heels and, alas, as I age, I seem to be veering towards comfort when it comes to situations where no one will even see my feet.

At the same time, I was bemoaning my inability to write regularly and thinking I needed a random project to motivate me. I couldn't even get myself to post about music anymore.

But I do have this blog and a history of documenting wearable items. Chocolate, meet peanut butter.

Of course, I didn't do anything right away. I was busy, I didn't have a decent camera, my feet weren't pretty right now, maybe I'd start in September, after school started and I got a pedicure. September came and went and I dithered long enough to read about why I can never get a pedicure ever again, and still no shoe blogging. We got a good camera and then I retired my flip phone and joined the 21st century, but I failed to take nary a photo of my footwear. But the idea nagged at me, whenever I bought a new pair of shoes it would remind me of its existence and make me feel guilty about what a slacker I am. If I couldn't even do this, is it any wonder that my current novel languishes in its unfinished state?

Which brings me to today. A Saturday like any other, except for some reason, I decided today was the day to start this thing and I would even try writing on the phone (which is weird and I feel it alters my voice, as if the different medium changes the way my brain constructs thoughts and sentences).

Here is how it will work: I will post pictures of shoes along with random pieces of information which may or may not be related to the footwear in question. I have no idea how long this will take. Yes, much like my black dress project, it will hopefully demonstrate how materialism can be transformed into something more by the emotional connection we feel for our possessions and the sympathetic magic that imbues them over time. Or maybe it will just be the unself-aware prattle of a privileged individual who wants to justify her frivolous spending habits. At the very least, I am following through on my assertion that I am not a hoarder, I am saving this for an art project.

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Saturday, March 28, 2015

All It Is Missing Is That Disembodied Voice

As you may imagine given past observations I have made here and performed elsewhere, I am very annoyed that I never thought of making a video like this.

And a quick perusal of YouTube reveals no one as yet has made a mashup of the Doctor visiting Teletubbyland--Comparing the Daleks to the Teletubbies is a good start, but it really doesn't begin to take advantage of all the opportunities for humor and mayhem provided by landing the blue police box in that strange totalitarian miniature golf course of a world. Think about it-Timey Wimey, Tinky Winky...

And while we are on the topic of totalitarian states with manicured lawns, another good mashup that no one has done thus far would be The Prisoner set in Teletubbyland (I mean, it practically is already). Come on internet, get on this already.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Twelve Days of Christmas Music: All That I Want

Today, December 24, is Fred's sister, Karen's, birthday, so I thought it would be appropriate to post a holiday song from The Weepies as she has been a fan of this band since Say I Am You back in 2005 (she may have been a fan even before then, but that was when she talked about them to me).

The Weepies offer some lowkey holiday music with a dash of whimsy and irreverence. Go to their website and shake the snowglobe.

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Eight Nights of Chanukah Music: Eight Nights

Another night, another cute a cappella boy band singing about the meaning of Chanukah.

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Twelve Days of Christmas Music: Are You Coming Over For Christmas?

Well, are you? You better make up your mind, it's just a few days away!

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Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Eight Nights of Christmas Music: Hanukkah Joy

Sometimes, you just want a pretty, traditional interpretation of the classics.

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Twelve Days of Christmas Music: Christmas in LA

"There's a well-rehearsed disinterest in the atmosphere. Don't know if tat's what tis town gave me or it led me here."-The Killers

The Killers do a Christmas song every year. This one may seem bleak, but it captures my point of view right now.

Years ago, Gail Kelly mocked me for choosing to pursue an acting career in Chicago. "You should move to LA if you want to be an actress," she said. With all due respect to the late Professor Kelly, there are very few choices from my past which I am one hundred percent certain were the right ones and not living here is one of them. Alas, my brother has chosen to make his life here which means I am forced to come here every so often. Yes, you get to experience 70 degree weather in December, but you don't get snow and it feels like Christmas is just another day. I can only imagine how much worse it would feel if I sacrificed everything to be here and I think of all the actors I have known who did just that and I hope they are well, wherever they are.

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Monday, December 22, 2014

Eight Nights of Chanukah Music: Chanukah (Shake It Off)

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Sunday, December 21, 2014

Twelve Days of Christmas Music: White Christmas

For those seeking a combination of the classic and the cool, artistic self-awareness coupled with nostalgia, here is Iggy Pop singing White Christmas. It is perfect in so many ways-it is a legitimately good rendition, faithful, but with a twist, and it has all the layers that only Iggy Pop can bring to a recording like this. Like Bing Crosby, he has a baritone voice and, like David Bowie, he was doing performance art onstage before it was even a thing--OH MY GOSH, this may well approach Little Drummer Boy levels of awesome! Not to mention that, lately, every time I hear Iggy Pop, I am reminded me of David Carradine in Kill Bill-he's smart, polite, generous, well-spoken, but there is always a menacing undercurrent, an awareness that you should never cross him because he will exact his revenge. Which is exactly what you want in an elder statesman of punk rock and what you want in a Christmas song.

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Saturday, December 20, 2014

Twelve Days of Christmas Music: Every Day Should Be a Holiday

Despite the movie tie-in, this is obviously a Christmas song. I mean, if I had told you in the 90s to think of a holiday song by The Dandy Warhols, this is exactly what you would have thought it would sound like.

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Eight Nights of Chanukah Music: Hip Hop Chanukah

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Friday, December 19, 2014

Eight Nights of Chanukah: Happy Epic Chanukah!

Chanukah is the most epic holiday in history!

Trust us. We went to college.

And if that doesn't convince you to watch this, it features Rachel Bloom, creator of the brilliant tribute song to Ray Bradbury (you know the one I'm talking about).

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Twelve Days of Christmas Music: O Little Town of Bethlehem

I like to think that if the Peanuts gang ever grew up, Belle & Sebastian would compose the music for their Christmas special.

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Eight Nights of Chanukah Music: Happy Hanukkah Boyyyyyyyy

This is from a comedy show from the 90s and you can totally see that as the video references all the hip hop cliches from back in the day.

Throw your dreidls in the air!

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Twelve Days of Christmas Music: O Tannenbaum

I love how They Might Be Giants make this sound like a funeral dirge. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it from the tree's point of view.

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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Eight Nights of Chanukah Music: Applesauce vs. Sour Cream

"Life has many decisions, it moves in all directions, this is just one huge, enormous, big decision you have to make. You have to make it."-The LeeVees

I love the LeeVees and it wouldn't be Chanukah without me posting at least one song by them, but i think they are ignoring the obvious here.

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Twelve Days of Christmas Music: Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

A lot of artists have offered us their versions of this Christmas classic first sung by Darlene Love.

However, as good as some of them have been, most are quite faithful renditions which only serve to remind us of how great the original is. Why do it if it only makes listeners wonder why you had to mess with something perfect?

Then there are some which don't try to compete with the song, they use the affection and memory you have of it to take you somewhere new.

The Raveonettes have taken a classic and made if sound like icicles and snowfall in a way reminiscent of The Cocteau Twins' take on Frosty The Snowman. Who doesn't love a little ambient shoegazy goodness this time of year?

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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Eight Nights of Chanukah Music: The Rocky Hora Chanukah Song

While this song is goofy, it makes an odd sort of sense. After all, there was a bit of a time warp going on when the oil meant to last for only one day burned for eight.

This band call themselves The Shlomones. Yesterday, I posted a Christmas song by The Ramones. I am ashamed that it only now occurs to me that I should have posted these songs on the same day, for the sake of symmetry.

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Twelve Days of Christmas Music: Is This Christmas?

The Wombats manage to capture the stress and general ennui many people begin to feel about Christmas when they grow up. As a kid, everything is lights and cookies and christmas, but then you hit an age when Christmas seems more like work than anything else, with people expecting time you don't have and gifts you can't afford and the constant threat of having at least one sobbing meltdown in the bathroom while everyone else hangs out in the other room, none the wise (or at least, pretending they are). No one tells you when you are a kid that once you have aged out of believing in Santa, it's all downhill. However, no one also tells you that having a kid means you get to vicariously live through his Christmas joy. Maybe not enough to listen to all Christmas songs 24/7 (NO, NOT THE CHRISTMAS SHOES!), but at least enough to dance around to the ones which express the conflict of trying to navigate all the angst and still maintain one's sense of wonder.

Of course, I have to disagree with them as it is impossible to watch Back To The Future too many times.

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Monday, December 15, 2014

Twelve Days of Christmas Music: Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)

This is one of those songs which is legitimately good, Christmas theme or no Christmas theme. The video is great too. I think we all know those people who can be depended upon to fight regardless of the time of year or the number of witnesses*, so if you are stuck spending the holiday with them, you just ignore their screaming and punching, because unless it gets in the way of the gifts and the food, it is just the usual background noise. The fighting, no matter how bad it seems to get, never rises even to the level of drama, much less ruining the holiday. Of course, you get to go home and talk smack about them, but you also have to secretly admit that their antics take a lot of the pressure off of you because how can you not look good in comparison? Better hope those two never patch things up else Santa, not unlike Sauron, will turn his judgmental eye in your direction.

*From 1976-1989, people in my family would probably say this is a good description of my brother and I. Yeah, Mom always said Santa would not give us gifts because of our fighting, but we each were sure that Santa was on our side! Then he grew taller than me and I went to college and we were forced to declare a truce. Still, even though we both now have children and have, allegedly, grownup, we probably will always be just five minutes away from throwing Goldfish crackers at each other.

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Sunday, December 14, 2014

Twelve Days of Christmas Music: Santa Stole My...

Apparently, a lot of people are in a panic over Santa's seductive abilities.

Let's start things out with Santa Stole My Baby

Where The Mistreaters are angry and raw, Fitz and the Tantrums bring a more soulful and philosophical take on the theme with Santa Stole My Lady. They are over the initial shock and betrayal and, now, they just want the guys out there to know that if it happened to them, it can happen to you, so hide that mistletoe.

The Maine offer us Santa Stole My Girlfriend

And then there are some songs which take the misogyny to eleven. Because that is the problem with all these songs, isn't it? Yeah, you can say they are grown up takes on I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, but the simple idea that one's girlfriend/lady/baby is a possession that can be stolen and that Santa worked some magic to lure her away, as opposed to the radical idea that one's girlfriend/lady/baby is a person who makes her own choices and one of them may be that she prefers a man whose stomach resembles a bowl full of jelly. I feel like the anger is misplaced, that these guys should not be mad at Santa, but at themselves for not being better boyfriends. Boys, you need to stop whining and take accept that it isn't Santa's fault she dumped your sorry ass.

However, lest you think I am letting Santa, a man who tells children that one's behavior influences the gifts one receives which really seems like a way of saying poor people deserve their fate, off the hook, you would be wrong. Our final song, Santa Stole My Whiskey by Johnny Manak, establishes that Santa can be kindof a jerk.

The takeaway from all this is to never trust a man in a red suit. Also, don't forget to leave out those cookies and milk.

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