Monday, April 27, 2009

Let Me Always Be The One Who's Left Behind When They Desert You



Yes, I promise, someday I will go back to actually writing about stuff, instead of abusing YouTube and publicly reliving the music of my youth (though if I were completely honest, this is just reliving the music of a couple of months ago, as Dreamland was in heavy rotation while I was taking Meisner 2.0)

So I went to my high school reunion on Saturday. Twenty years. It was odd. I spent a lot of time dithering over whether I would go or not, terrified that I would find myself in a room full of people who would not talk to me, and at first, that is exactly what happened. I felt like I didn't recognize anyone and the school has definitely changed since I was there, which caused me to question if I had entered a parallel universe (this is what happens when you spend a lot of time watching Science Fiction, it makes you paranoid) or maybe it just wasn't the right school (how often does that happen, someone wanders into a reunion which is not, in fact, their own?) Anyway, I eventually stopped drinking water and, magically, the reunion got a lot better leading me to conclude that had I drunk alcohol back then, high school would have been a lot better. There were people there whom I found myself insanely happy to see and, as time went on, I was overwhelmed with a general warmth towards everyone which led to some awkward encounters with people who did not feel a corresponding sense of warmth towards me. I did not have any enormous revelations about myself; I was surprised how many people remembered me, given that my recollection of the past is one where I was friendless and invisible, but really, if I think about it, I know this isn't true and that everyone feels that way about themselves in high school. And while I spent a lot of time being nervous about going to the reunion, I didn't give any thought as to what comes next, to the whole "now we have seen each other and maybe we should stay in touch instead of waiting for the next one of these things to reconnect" thing, as well as the fact that it was probably inevitable that I would have nostalgia crushes on some people (people who I did not have crushes on back then, but seeing them now, I see the error of my ways and so feel my emotions need to do some crushing, just because). No one ever tells you that going to your high school reunion turns you into your awkward, inept teenage self and it takes some time to mature back into adulthood.

So, anyway, yeah, I am not feeling very intelligent or articulate on this topic. But somehow, I thought this Roddy Frame song was appropriate (because, as you know, I feel Roddy Frame is appropriate for every occasion).

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