NaNoWriMo update: I have written 800 words today. I am procrastinating now.

I went over to Karrie's blog and read the article she recommended. It's about the escalation of cool, how in order to be a "cool mom" in today's world, you kindof have to be a "bad mom" and I found myself thinking that I am a good mom and a cool mom (even if those are mutually exclusive terms).
Sometimes we have to sit with that uncertainty, and, instead of thirsting for the cool breeze, surrender ourselves to the heat.
That was the last line of her article.

I think about how much I have been fighting completely surrendering to motherhood, how I still have all these hopes and dreams, leftover from my own childhood, which I feel I have to achieve before I can really be a good mother, that until then, I am just a highly accomplished actress playing a role, but deep down, I know the truth.


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