Thursday, March 27, 2008

Maybe I Shouldn't Have Been Surprised

The adult acne should have tipped me off that I would be the mother of a boy.

Women with high testosterone may be more likely to have sons

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When I found out I was pregnant, we had no difficulty picking a girl's name, but it was hard finding a boy's name we even liked and Julian was the only name we even agreed upon (it should come as no surprise that Fred shot down my suggestions of Ezra and Ezekial).

Throughout my life, whenever I imagined having a child, it was a girl child in my mind's eye. My fantasies were fairly vague and my assumption that I would have a girl was based, perhaps, more on the fact that, with the exception that most of the babies with whom I have had contact were girls. I'll admit, there was some shallowness involved in my thoughts. For example, in the second half of my pregnancy, after the 20 week ultrasound where we saw proof of the baby's gender, I would go shopping and find myself crying in children's clothing stores over the cute dresses I wouldn't be buying for my baby. However, for the most part, my fear was rooted in my belief that, given my experiences, I wouldn't know how to raise a boy. I was once a girl, I know what it is like to be a girl, I don't know what it is like to be a boy, and everything I read, about boys being less verbal and disinclined to read, freaked me out because I feared I would have nothing in common with my child.

I have, obviously, gotten over my fears and now can't imagine having a girl.

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