Saturday, April 17, 2010

Redecoration


As I may have mentioned, I am change resistant. I spend a ridiculous amount of time deciding what I like and then I stick with it forever. Or at least until I grow so sick of it that I can no longer avoid making an adjustment. Which is what has happened with this blog. I feel I have written myself into a corner, limiting what I allow myself to do here to such a degree that I no longer use this space for my original purpose, which was to force myself to write and put myself out there for public consumption. I have sunk back into the bad habit of telling myself that what I create is not yet good enough for other people, that I will bring shame upon myself, and this fear of rejection has forced me into a state of paralysis. Which is worthy of ridicule in and of itself when one considers that there are, maybe, three people who even read this blog and they rarely leave comments. If I am completely honest, what I am really afraid of is trying and failing, so instead I just don't try and fail anyway. But time passes and I get older. So as you can see, I have made some cosmetic changes around here and, hopefully, this will inspire me to move forward, or at least, sideways. Because I can't stand still forever.

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